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  • Writer's pictureRim

Well-meaning suggestions that are actually bad advices

« Just be yourself » « Just do it » « Take action » « Go for it » « Set boundaries » This type of advice used to frustrate me so much.

Yes, in theory, these sounds like wonderful suggestions. BUT what does it mean exactly? And HOW to do that? If you're an empath and a highly sensitive person, being yourself could be very different from moment to moment.

  • Like a chameleon you change depending on who is near you. You can easily take on the identity and emotions of the people around you.

  • You may be seeking validation from others, yet you may struggle accepting love from others and feeling lovable.

  • You may have developed a perfectionist mindset, always trying to become better, do more, be more.

  • You may be spending a lot of time asking yourself “what is wrong with me?” You'll keep finding flaws and that will lead to deeper doubts.

  • Perhaps you followed the suggestions of others around you, strategies that were « proven » successful, yet it didn't work for you.

  • You didn't have the energy to follow-through, you felt like giving up after the first few setbacks.

  • In hindsight, you realised you committed to the wrong things for you.

  • You feel like crumbling when receiving reproaches and criticism.

→ Result: frustration, overwhelm, feeling stuck in the same patterns over and over again, disappointed, perhaps even overspending to compensate, or hoarding and being super scared if spending anything. Not trusting your ability to choose the right things/people to invest in yourself.

excerpts from my sketchbook

When you learn to love yourself, unconditionally. To accept, have compassion for and truly love all the aspects of yourself (yes, even when you make mistakes or when you have negative thoughts)

  • When you take the time daily to take care of your needs (deep emotional needs), then it becomes easy to let go of the need of validation.

  • It becomes easy to let go of people pleasing.

  • It gets easier to set boundaries and stick to them.

  • Your nervous system gets strong enough to handle other people's reactions and emotions AND not make it mean anything about you.

  • You become more discerning as to what's and who's right for you, and what's and who's not.

  • You get to choose vs waiting to be chosen.

  • You feel better in your body.

  • You experience the freedom that comes from having nothing to prove to anyone.

  • You feel safe, no matter what.

  • And that gives you the freedom to tap into your creative energy any time you need. And to come up with your very unique solutions to challenges.

  • You realise that nobody can take anything that really matters away from you: YOU

If this resonates with you, grab your seat for « The Magic of Self-Love » experience workshop, on March, 20th GRAB YOUR SEAT HERE

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